Sending Out Roots

      First off, I'll preface this post with a bit of explanation. As a lot of you know, I'm getting married next month and thereafter moving from Michigan to Pennsylvania. I'm super excited and can't wait to move into this new stage of life.

     That being said - Goodbyes are hard... They always are for me. (And I've written a lot about goodbyes.) I'm getting to the point where I'm acknowledging that my relationship with a lot of people is getting ready to change. I won't physically be close any more, and it won't be so easy to go hang out.

     I was talking to a friend last week and told her, "I just love them so much! .... When I went away for the summer and came back, nine people quit - and some of them were people I really liked - but then these coworkers came, and now I love them too... I keep reminding myself that this reminds me there are always new people to know and love, wherever I go."

    Saturday I was a part of my best friend's wedding - (and there is a ton I could say about that, but it's not the topic I'm rambling about right now.) I had some time Friday night at rehearsal dinner, and again several times on Saturday, to reconnect with a mutual friend I hadn't seen in about a year.

     I've probably only met her less than half a dozen times, but seeing her, there is an easy sense of, "Oh. I love you." She is such a deep and thoughtful person who speaks well on God's love and is able to share His goodness. She amazes and delights me in the way she brings depth so seemingly easily into conversation. I thought about aspects of who Jesus is differently than I had before... It was simple goodness, sharing in fellowship together.

      At the reception, I also got to meet a fellow writer, and we talked about writing, the hardness of accepting critique, and where she hopes her business will go. We exchanged FB info, and I told her when she's ready, I'd try to point her to some people who have been helpful to me when I first was looking at Self-Publishing.

    Now what does all this have to do with each other?

   Sometimes all the goodbyes of different stages of life make it difficult for me to want to reach out my roots and make more connections in the moment.... But In many ways lately, I feel I've been reminded how worth-it it is to hold people tight and love them fully in the time I have.

    Love is a risk in a way. My heart can want to pull back a bit, the closer goodbyes come. A bracing against the sadness that I feel...

    But tomorrows are never promised... I never truly know when goodbyes are final... and I've found there is so much joy in loving people in the moments I'm given...

    Whether that's 8 months getting to know some new coworkers. Whether its a few hours with a girl who encourages my heart to see Jesus. Whether it's a conversation where I can encourage someone in their goals...

    Love is a good, good thing. God made us to love, and care for each other. To inspire, uplift, and encourage each other.

   Laugh if you will - but here's one of my plants... It's a broken off leaf from one of my bigger plants. There is a wound on it that I don't know how it happened, but it's still got a lot of life... I moved to a new pot in hopes that it would grow.

   

     And here are its roots... Roots that I'm so proud of, because I've waited weeks to see any sign of them...

     There are things in life that hurt us - perhaps wounds we don't even quite know how they happened, just that they grew over time. There are times - even good times - where we are moved from one place to another... And we can send out new roots. Roots to touch people, to give and receive life, and to better embrace the places God has put us.

    That is what I'm being shown again... The beauty of sinking roots in, and having joy in the times of life I'm living.

~ZA

More Than I Thought To Ask For

          At the end of May I shared a post titled Because I Prayed For A Blessing , talking about my experience with answered prayer when asking God for the blessing of direction, and about my upcoming summer in Wildwood New Jersey at The Boardwalk Chapel. So much has happened since I made that post... Ha, and don't worry, I'm not under any illusion I can cram about 3 months of adventures into this post... I don't think I could do it well anyway... But I'm going to try my best and share some of what I did and how much I learned.

        Every day was an adventure and a new reminder of God's care. I got to spend every day singing,  praying as a group, and so many times laughing at the randomest things. Most importantly, I learned how to share my faith, and grew in my own... I made friends I'll never forget, and memories I hope to remember forever. (Here are some videos if you'd like to see them:  LifeHouse Skit , Sarah singing 'Blessed Redeemer' , 'Come Ye Sinners' , Wilfredo ad Josh Original Blues ,  One of the youth groups preforming 'Come Along' . )


         So let me tell you a little bit about where I was, and what I did.

        I was in Wildwood New Jersey - a place that runs pretty heavily around tourism, and has its fair share of people selling drugs, and or being drunk(Leastways during the summer). The boardwalk has a fair-like atmosphere with rides on the piers, games, junk food, and shops that sell random stuff. Right in the midst of it all is the Boardwalk Chapel, which, as we like to say, is the only free thing on the Boardwalk, haha.

   This was the 69^th summer for the Boardwalk Chapel. Every night Monday – Saturday we had programs from 8:00 to about 9:30 (depending if we started on time). Every program we sang, did a few skits, and visiting pastors would give 2 sermons about 15 minutes each. Some passerby would come and sit down, others would linger just outside, while others would hurry past, or even shout 'Hail satan' or other things into the Chapel.

     We didn't do the programs all alone either, that's for sure. Most weeks we had awesome youth groups from other states helping us; They did the programs on Thursdays so we could have the night off. They also would go out witnessing with us when we went out, though sometimes they wouldn't say much during the conversations. Ha, sometimes I felt so inadequate as I went out  witnessing with them -  me being the "staffer" and so assumingly knowing what I was doing when really I didn't feel that way. "Oh God give me strength."  

         There were 15 of us on staff who lived together (The pastor and two of his sons were also on staff, but they lived in their own home. We also had James who came on and off throughout the summer to help with work projects and repair the buildings.) – most of us were between the ages of 17 and 25, though we had house parents who were older and had 3 little boys ages 1 and a half, 4 and 6. We all lived in the Dunn house, which used to be a boarding house at one point and was donated to the ministry to house the staff. The guys lived on the first floor and the girls lived on the second floor – we had a living room but if we were hanging out in the house it was always in the kitchen. There's food there. ;)

      After the programs we either had seminars on worldview or apologetics, or went out witnessing. (Sometimes we did both if we had enough time.) We'd witness until about midnight then all head back to the Dunn house, have food together, and tell each-other about our conversations. It was always so encouraging to come back and discuss how it went and we'd often pray for the people we'd witnessed to as a group.

    I'll admit it, I've been mostly in a pretty much Christian bubble before this summer. And witnessing... well, witnessing can be interesting... I've talked to drunk people, heard more swear words than I ever have before, and spoken to people who admit that they don't have hope and say that there isn't any hope in this world at all... It's hard to talk to people who act like they're okay with how broken the world is – the ones who believe “the world just is as it is”, but if religion makes us happy then, “Well that's nice. You have fun with that.”

       It's also hard to talk to the people who are so sure they are good enough for God – that their goodness outweighs their bad so if there is a God He will let them in., 'cause,“Only really bad people go to hell.”

        It's hard 'cause in many ways it hurts to see how lost they are... To often hear how life is going for them, and all they see is the pointlessness of it all. Ah yes. That hurts my heart...

         On the other-hand it's amazing to see when people get it. When they're listening and asking questions, and obviously want  the tracts – even to the point of asking, “Are you giving those out?” (That question is so exciting to me. When they ask us if they can have them that usually means they're curious and they sometimes flip through it and ask more questions. ^_^ )

        We have joy – we live in a purposeless, hopeless, searching world and when they see that joy, they want to know where it comes from. One of the guys on staff, Seth, was really excited after a good conversation with some people – so excited he couldn't contain it. Someone walking by asked him if he was alright. He was like,“Yes! I just got done talking with someone about God!” The person said, “I know about God.”  and their group ended up talking to that guy for awhile... See, the world doesn't understand radical joy - it seems so foreign... even sometimes to those in the church.

         One time I was out with 2 other staffers and we talked to this woman and her 3 daughters who all said they were Christians. The mother asked us, “How did you get to be like this? How did you become so joyful in your faith?” So we told them about how living for Jesus should change the way we live – that we shouldn't be content to go through the motions, but that our faith should be evident in our everyday lives - that though we have hard times, that we seek to trust God in them and what a difference that has made in us.
       In every encounter with people we wanted to show others that when we speak and act that it's not going through the motions - we truly care about them as individuals made by God and want them to know Him too. That is what I pray we left with them - a renewed passion to seek God and a desire for faith that changes their lives.

           I want to thank all of you who supported me in going on this trip through prayers and financial support. It was such an amazing learning experience this summer. I got to learn more about music, other worldviews, and how to witness. It was so different from my limited experience with life, and I was so blessed by the friendships and learning that I've taken away from it. Thank you for your part in making this trip everything it was. 

          If you'd like to read a blog post about this summer by another young lady on staff you can click here: Link and read Susie's post on "Missing Missions-Siblings". She wrote it exactly right... 'cause yeah, I miss them too... It's been a few months since being home but there are still days when I wish to have just one more day to be with them. We were a family. We laughed and teased - we cried and talked about life and loss. We were silly. We sang. We prayed for each other. We took walks and talked about our homes, lives, learning experiences, and our thoughts on Christ and what He'd been teaching us. Two times that are very vivid in my memory is the time several of us gathered together listening/reading poetry, and the time where we sat on the front porch at past midnight talking about Heaven... Many times we went down to the beach early in the morning to watch the sunrise and sing hymns. We didn't have to be together as much as we were, but almost without fail even on our days off we'd spend the time hanging out. We genuinely wanted to be a part of each other's lives and learn more about each other. Living with those who put being "brothers and sisters in Christ" into action is... well, it's hard for me to put into words how uplifting it was...

       
      I never thought to ask God to put someone like Susie on staff to be my closest friend for the summer (and stay in contact with upon returning home). I never thought to ask Him to allow me to use and share my poetry this summer. I never thought to ask Him to give me opportunities to speak in front of people. I never thought to ask Him to help me learn more confidence in singing. I never thought to ask Him to change me this summer... but He did. 

      Know what I saw this summer? I saw reminders of God's care for us in the little things (like the time we didn't have a youth group and I prayed people would come in the Chapel to fill the emptiness and God answered).  I saw Christians, firm in their faith, coming together to share the gospel, care for each other, and serve their very best in the different aspects of the ministry. I saw others who have a love for the lost and were willing to spend the summer sharing God's word. Every day I saw the love and encouragement they shared with each other and to those we came in contact with.  I saw the body of Christ in action - His hands, His feet, His touch, His voice... He is in each of us and this summer was overflowing with examples of His power and grace. May God continue to bless His work in New Jersey and around the world.

~Ophelia - Marie

          If you'd like to find out more about the Chapel and how you could become involved, you can go to their website: http://boardwalkchapel.org/ or click any of the previous links to go to the Facebook page. 

Because I Prayed For A Blessing

     Now, I know I said that this blog wasn't for poetry, but bear with me, this is where I feel this story really begins.

 I Want A Blessing

 8:51 AM 10/18/2010 
 

I really want a blessing, whatever You may choose.

 I'm ready for a blessing, even if I have to loose.

I really want a blessing, whatever it may be.

I'm ready to grow, please put Your hand on me.

I really want a blessing, whatever I must do.

 I want to be better; help me grow in You.

I really want a blessing, whatever it will take.

I want to learn about You, and never to be fake.

I really want a blessing, whatever be the cost.

 I want to be like You, and give love to lost.

I'm not asking for pain or hardship, but still I want to grow.

Whatever it takes to get there, You'll give me grace to go.

    I was fifteen, and this was my prayer to God. My dad had recently said in one of his sermons that God has blessing for us, but often we don't ask Him for them. Not long after I prayed this prayer, my dad brought up the subject of me perhaps working at a camp for the summer.

    Let me tell you, ha, I was scared of the thought of leaving my family for the summer and going to a completely unfamiliar place. I'd never been away from my family for any longer than a week, and the times I had been away it was always with people I knew well. Besides me being nervous though, there wasn't much reason not to apply, so I filled out the paper work... for awhile, mentally, I didn't consider it actually happening. Imagine my surprise when I was asked to come work for the summer...


   By the time I left, I was sixteen and was assigned to work in the kitchen. I learned so much in that first summer at Grace Adventures. (Enough to probably write several blog posts on.) Many times I was forced from my comfort zone and had to step up and do things that I found hard. Those I worked with supported and encouraged me to let others see the real me... to have fun and laugh and, while doing my best, not always take everything I did so seriously. ;)

I went back again in 2012 and grew in other ways... patience was a big one... accepting that things weren't always going to work out the way I wanted them to was another. The ministry of Grace Adventures blessed my life so much... and it all started with the little innocent prayer of, "God, I want a blessing."

    Understand this - if you honestly tell God that you want to do things for Him, you'll be amazed at the doors He opens. Be careful what you pray for.

   In February of this year, as I began to try and figure out what I was going to do for the summer, I asked God for a blessing. I told Him I wanted a way to serve Him and be challenged, and if He'd open doors I would go through them - whether that meant a third summer at camp, or something totally new. A few days later my dad brought home an application to the Board Walk Chapel in New Jersey. (How does my dad end up doing these things - I don't know. o.O)

     Again, like the first time I got an answer to this kind of prayer, I was scared. 'God? You want me to try this?' I already knew the answer; I had prayed and He had responded. There was somewhere between a mix of awe of Him and doubts in myself as I said yes...

     In March I found out my application was accepted, and began raising support and planning for the trip. That was when I had to stop mentally thinking of it as a 'maybe' kind of thing, and throw myself into the fact that this was coming up and would be here fairly soon.

     Perhaps you're a little bit curious about what I'll actually be doing. Here are the goals of the chapel:

    It is the goal of this work to glorify God by proclaiming the Gospel so that people are brought to Christ and added to the church. Specific goals for this year:

• To train 25 people in the work of evangelism
• To distribute 10,000 tracts
• To distribute Bibles and Christian books
• To present the Gospel through personal contact to a least 2,000 people
• To have our home missionaries follow-up meaningful contacts

   So, I'll be learning to evangelize (there will be two weeks of training) and implementing what I learn. A Night On The Boards, is two articles that give a "brief look at what it is like to talk with people on the Wildwood Boardwalk". I will also be trying to find a part time job for during the day.
    
 Tomorrow, I'll be getting on a plane and be off to start this new adventure. I'm still a little bit apprehensive, but I know God is going to do good things through this. I asked Him for a blessing - I can't wait to see the ways He challenges, grows, and teaches me over the next 12 weeks.

~Ophelia - Marie

 

 

(I will be posting on my blog while I'm away since I've stock piled several posts. :) )

 

Try New Things

Picture Link

     I'm not athletic. In general, I have what my dad teasingly calls, 'The clumsy gene'. You're speaking to the person who doesn't like playing any games that involve balls, and who hardly ever dances, even with friends. Yup, my philosophy is that those type things aren't important to life, I'm not good at them, and I'd rather avoid them like the plague. I was the one in Vacation Bible School that went to the back of the line in kick ball, hoping that my team would get three outs before it came my turn to kick and who stayed where I wouldn't possibly need to touch the ball. I was the one at sleepovers who didn't join in in 'dance parties' with the others. And oooooh yes, I was very stubborn about it.

   Oh, I have the ability to do some of those things - kicking a ball is something I'm capable of - but a stubborn little bit of me still doesn't like it, and often doesn't even want to try. Why? Because I could end up embarrassing myself.

   Walk around the mall or the sand dunes dressed as a pirate?

   No problem.

    Jump around and dance in a group?

         Are you trying to kill me?

   You probably see the disconnect here.

   In life you are going to have to do things you don't like, or that make you uncomfortable whether you want to or not. My dad has said that to me many times. . . Speaking in public, playing group games, even seemingly little things like making an effort to talk to unfamiliar people my age, are all things I've had to do and often felt uncomfortable doing. *Whispers* And then I was glad I did them.

     I like to do things that are “safe” and that I'll probably be “good at” (or at least passably be able to do). I've found though, that it's good for me to do things I know I won't be good at, and be in situations that make my stomach flip-flop and mind ask, “What in the world was I thinking, trying this?!”

     Some things are hard for me to do just because I either think I won't be able to do the task well, or I am afraid of what others will think. But I shouldn't worry so much about messing up, or not having the right words, or what others may think; it's okay to make mistakes, it's good to laugh at myself, it can be fun to do things I might not be good at - and I'll never know until I try.

    Sometimes the hard part is having the guts to try. I know, I know the excuses - 'It'll be a waste of my time', 'I will look like a dork' , 'I don't really want to anyways' , 'I might mess up', 'I'll get in the way' , 'Someone else could do a better job'. There are a lot of excuses to get out of something you don't want to do so just stop.  Look at what you're saying, accept that part of what you say may be true, then try anyways. You'll build your confidence the more times you try, and be more likely to do something of that sort again.

   I've learned that when I try, often I am surprised at the results.

   I climbed to the top of a rock climbing tower.

   I went forward in front of our congregation and spoke about what I was thankful for on our Thanksgiving Eve service.

   I actually hit a ball with a bat and made it all around the bases over the course of the game and had fun doing it.

   And dancing, well, I still don't like it but hey, the world goes 'round. ;)

~Ophelia - Marie

My Friends Aren't Mine

   I've been eighteen since January fifth and since that time I've decided on what I think is one of the biggest downfalls of growing up:

   The changing of friendships.

   My friends are busier now and trying to schedule time to see each other is a task in and of itself. One of my friends is going off to a mission school for a year in another state, a few others are starting to talk about college, and another friend had to go away for a month unexpectedly. There have been a few times when I cried selfish tears of 'but what about me?' , with ungrounded thoughts of them forgetting me, or never seeing me. Sure, I am so proud of them as I see their love for God, and their passion to follow after where they feel Him leading, but the fearful side of me still plays on my doubts. Let's face it - I didn't want things to change.

   God challenged my thinking with a continuous thought that wouldn't go away.

   'They aren't yours, Ophelia.' He seemed to be saying. 'They are Mine'.

   'But You gave them to me!' I protested, playing over and over the memories we had created together. Our laughing. . . inside jokes. . . questions we had. . . times we prayed for each other with tears. . . how we said we'd always be close. . . Quieter now, 'You gave them to me. . '

   'And now I have other plans for them.'

   After a time filled with prayer (and I admit, some more crying) it finally began to set in. They are God's -not mine. When He placed them in my life, He knew just how they'd effect me, cause me to grow, and fill my heart with joy and sometimes pain. He is right now directing us to where we need to be in our young lives and I've gotta face the fact that my friendships with each of these special people is going to look different.

    And that's okay.

   Change isn't always bad. It's just. . . different. That difference doesn't mean loss of my friendships, it means stepping back a bit as God leads each of us. Yeah, I know I'll miss them, but hey, Love isn't selfish. Since I love them, I'm going to pray for God's best for them - even if it means He moves some of them far away. I'm excited to watch what God is going to do in the coming months and years. I trust Him. My friends aren't mine - they belong to Him, and He loves them so much more than I do.

~Ophelia - Marie