Thoughts Of A Nurse Aid: Elderly People Need Love Too

I wrote this post awhile ago, back when I'd been at my job for nine months. Feb. 20, I'll have been there two years.

    Today I saw this video, and felt the need to share all this.

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       It's easy to take love for granted, until you begin to love those who don't feel loved at all.

       Mmm... So many of my residents don't take love for granted - even the smallest gestures can change their whole attitude... To me, one of the saddest things I heard a resident say after I hugged her was, "Thank you; that means so much...." She paused, and said kinda sadly, "You know, nobody hugs you when you get old." ... Those words hurt.

           Many of my people are lonely. They don't get hugs often at all, or get told, "I love you." or told, "I'm happy to see you today." They are away from their families, and miss a lot of the freedoms they used to have. Some of them can't speak anymore, or even get out of bed by themselves. Many of them have lost spouses, siblings, friends. Many of them have aches and pains... And they are just like you and me. They need to know that they are loved.

        A resident asked me a few days ago, "How did you get to be so loving?"
        I laughed and said, "I don't know, it just happened!" Then I stopped and said, "I have Jesus in my heart. He helps a lot."
       She said, "That's right honey. Jesus died for our sins."
       And for that moment... we were simply two Christians thinking about Jesus.

        There are elderly Christians in my building. They need to be reminded that they have purpose. They still delight God. They are still able to pray. God still hears them and loves them... You can see it in the lives of those who love God - their peace and strength in Him - but like any Christian, they need encouragement.

       God's love is the impression I want to leave. Gosh it can be hard - some days, honestly, I do what I do, and forget to try and be love - I go through the motions - doing my work, and my best, but not beyond that. Some days, I am tired and there are some residents who are mean - sharp worded, and never happy with what we do.... But I am still called to love - no matter the person, no matter my feelings. (I'm still working on loving certain people. There are some who are... hard to love... but I suppose they need it the most, don't they? Mmm.). Those who love me are reminders to me to focus on the positive, and to find joy in what I do because I can be there to serve and love.

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          You know what? Loving isn't easy...Sometimes I don't have a spirit of love and patience... And sometimes - love hurts.

         Towards the end of my shift tonight, I was thinking about the last 9 months of this job. My mind flitted to the aspect of death... (Not that anyone died today, but it's just on my mind.) It always feels wrong - even when I know it is coming. It always is just a bit surprising in a way... It's because we weren't made to die and in the depths of us, we feel the wrongness of it all.

        I've watched families grieve, both while their family member is fading, and after they've died. I've watched people in the process of dying. I've crouched beside a bed, and prayed a welcome into Heaven for a woman who had just gone to be with Jesus - oh, I could imagine her joy... I've gone away for some time off, and had a Christian resident I loved very much suddenly pass away while I was gone... Loving people who aren't going to be around much longer...that can hurt... Somehow though, it's not as mind-numbing as I thought it'd be... It reminds me to cherish the life I have, and love fully while I have the chance.

        In the beginning, I didn't know how I'd handle this job, emotionally. There are difficult aspects to it - usually I just talk about the joyful parts. But I feel I've found where God wants me, and He keeps teaching me... growing me... Giving me strength and love I didn't know I had. Ha - so much more patience than I ever dreamed I could muster... I can't do it without Him. You can tell me I do well - and yes, I do try - but all my trying wouldn't do that much without God with me. He is the reason I am who I am. I'm not doing anything special. I'm just bumbling through life, trying to follow Jesus... He tells us to love one another deeply from the heart.

        God is love... How are we showing His love to others? Do you ever consider - how are you showing love to the elderly, the shut-ins, the widows?

        To anyone who has an elderly family member in a nursing home - please, go visit them if you can. Love them. I know it can be hard - perhaps they don't remember you, perhaps they cry when you leave, perhaps they ask why they can't go home with you, perhaps they don't respond anymore... But please, please - show them you care. They are still people who need your love.

       And to anyone reading this - if you ever go visit a nursing home, please, show love to those around you. They need it - we all need that love. We need to reflect the light of Jesus...There is always hope.

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God bless,

~ Ophelia - Marie

Holy Distractions - A Guest Post

A guest post on the topic of struggling with thoughts of suicide, and the short film, "The Balcony" , that has a suicide prevention message.

Holy Distractions

~Aubrey Hansen~

As a married twenty-something looking back on my teen years, I will always remember growing up as feeling like the walls were caving in.

As a child, our fragile young minds are protected by walls of innocence.  There are things that we know exist in the world, but they do not affect us.  We may be able to see them through the windows, but they cannot touch us through the walls, and therefore, they are not a part of our world.

But as we grow up, slowly but surely the things on the outside of the walls seep into our lives.  First we hear about them affecting coworkers and friends of friends, and then they start affecting our close friends and family.  And suddenly we find that we cannot keep these things on the other side of the walls anymore; they are entangled in our lives, shaping the way we think.  It feels like the walls are crumbling around us, until one day these things touch us personally.  And then the walls fall down.

What lurks outside the walls varies from person to person.  For me, one of the scariest things outside the walls, and the one that finally ended my childhood, was suicide.

I knew suicide existed.  I knew why it happened, and had heard a few trite explanations of depression, but it wasn’t something I had ever dealt with personally.  I knew it was there, but it was outside the walls.

So when I wrote the first draft of my short film “The Balcony,” I wasn’t thinking about the importance of suicide prevention.  It was a story about a girl who planned to jump off the balcony in a concert hall and was interrupted by a lonely violinist coming in to practice, but the suicide was just an effective storyline for me.  My focus was on the music, as the flutist decides to accompany the violinist’s practice from the shadows, and the two begin to converse through the interplay of their instruments.  I was driven by the artistry of it all, and suicide was simply the most effective character motivation I could use to convey the emotion.  And so I labeled it as a sweet story I could probably one day sell, stashed the draft in the back of my files, and forgot about it.

And then the walls around my childhood started to crumble.

First I learned about a casual acquaintance struggling with depression, before mysteriously vanishing off the internet, leaving behind rumors that she had committed suicide.  Then my closer friends started to come forward and open up about their depression.  I watched as their struggles got deeper, and I felt like my ability to help was slipping out of my fingers.  The foundations of my childhood were shaking, and I grappled to keep my little world from toppling.  But when I turned around to look at my own life, I realized that the thing that had once lurked outside the walls had moved in.  I was depressed, and it was getting worse.

I lived in denial while things got progressively darker through 2013.  In the spring of 2014, the man who would later become my husband found me and encouraged me to come to terms with the things that were taking down my walls.  But as is often the case with depression, when you first try to throw off the chains that bind you, they tighten.  I kept holding on to the few things that made me forget the pain briefly, always believing that if I just fixed enough of my problems I could go back to that simpler time where my innocence gave me peace.

But no amount of dreaming could keep my childhood alive.  In May of 2014, alone on the highway and suffering from my worst depression and the screams of demons, I almost drove my car into a concrete median to end it.

But I didn’t.  Why?  Because a friend texted me.

Even though I don’t text and drive, I had my phone sitting out on the passenger seat where I could see it.  And that simple text notification was a distraction.  It was enough of a distraction for rational thought to break past the noise in my brain, enough distraction to make me realize I should call the friend who texted me and let her talk me through the rest of the drive, enough distraction to give me the opportunity to make the conscious choice that saved my life and started me on the path of healing.

And now, almost a year later, when my producer dragged “The Balcony” out of the archives and put it on my desk again, I can look back and realize there’s a second story to the film that I didn’t even know my heart was trying to write.

In the story, the flutist is distracted when the violinist turns the lights on over the stage and comes out to practice.  This distraction gives her enough pause to notice him and listen to his music instead of the noise in her head.  The distraction allowed the violinist to enter her world, and she made the conscious choice to reach inside of her and respond.  Just one moment of chance timing made for a distraction that opened the gateway to healing and encouragement for both of them.

I am not saying that we should constantly pester our depressed friends and family with text messages to make sure they are all right.  Not all distractions will change a life; many encounters are simply just that, brief distractions that quickly fade and do nothing to help us conquer the battle.  But I am saying that every positive connection we make with people opens up a door for God to work.  Every time we touch another person, we are opening a channel of communication with them.  And if you respond to all the connections you make with honesty and love, you never know when you may have been the open door that let a life-changing thought in.

I want to thank Ophelia for letting me talk on her blog and share about my short film “The Balcony.”  As I mentioned, my old producer Jordan Smith from Phantom Moose Films drug this script out of the closet and decided to produce it this spring.  This is monumental for me, not only to see one of my films make it into production far sooner than I ever could have hoped, but also because I can now use this film as a way to share my experiences with depression and suicide prevention with others.

Of course, producing a film is easier said than done, especially since the intimate nature of the music involves an original violin-flute duet that must be tailored to the movie, as well as two talented musicians to act it out.  For that reason, we’re running a Kickstarter through the end of March to raise the necessary funds for the music and high-quality cameras.  I’d be delighted if y’all could check it out.  Even if you can’t donate, please share the link--you never know when your Facebook post or Tweet might put the film in front of the right person.

After all, even the simplest connections between people can change the world.

~Aubrey Hansen

I Don't Want To Grow Up - Beyond Wonder

               This is the fifth (and last) post in my 'I Don't Want To Grow Up' series. The other posts are on the topics of not growing up beyond Dreaming, Caring, Playing and Hoping.

I don't want to be so "grown up" that I no longer wonder.

I don't want to stop living with wonder

Because I let it be drained away

And life is now only routine.

            It's easy to start going through the motions in life, especially when things get in busy routine. Get up, do this or that, go to work, do what needs to be done, come home, go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day. We often see generally the same people, have generally the same interactions, and just... do it again and again. Time marches on, and  we can get in the mindset of, "just another day."

       Let me tell ya though, just because life has routine, doesn't mean we have to become complacent. What if today, starting right now, you told yourself you were going to try to do your very best in everything for the next twenty-four hours? Everything.

        What if you tried to have a good attitude, even when you didn't feel like it? What if you answered everyone kindly, and tried to get along? What if you looked at whatever tasks you have to do today and tried to do your utmost best? ... What if you looked at the world with wonder at the fact that God is holding it all together and let that reminder spring you forward into facing your day?

       Know a good way to keep from getting complacent? Every day seek to pray for someone you never have before, no matter how well you know them -  Also pray for your friends, family, and leaders. Pray blessing into their life, and ask God to send them His overabundant joy. Look for ways to encourage others. Find something specific to thank God for giving you today. It's harder to become complacent when you're placing your focus on God and others. It's an intentional choice. (I'm not always good at remembering this, but I find the days I go into with prayer, are days that I more easily see God's hands at work.)

I Don't Want To Go Through The Motions - Matthew West

I don't want to release these bits of life

In favor of being mature

And unknowingly become cynical.

         It's all around us, ya know. There seems to be this notion that to be mature means to be stiff... or more... formal... To lose the sense of fun, and to become someone who only day to day does what is required of them. We become used to the wonders around us, and stop finding the same joy in them. But I don't believe that's how it should be. *Came across this beautiful post* :

          "As we grow up, our mystery somehow decreases. Confronted with unnumbered wonders, we sigh and chew in gladless presumption. Our knowledge increases, but our wonder evaporates.

       All of life is a kind of weary presumption. We have unspeakable kindnesses heaped upon us and we pout about the earth, grumbling under our breath.

       It seems to me that maturity (of the best kind: growing up in Christ) is mostly demonstrated by instinctual gratitude and unprovoked gladness. And unprovoked isn’t quite right the right word. It will only seem such. For as we grow, won’t our hearts be awakened to the wonders everywhere to be seen, so that everyday we live and breathe and have God’s unmerited favor we are overwhelmed with thankfulness? We will always be provoked." ~ S. D. Smith, The Rabbit Room, The Sad Evaporation Of Wonder And Its Ancient Antidote  

I don't want to grow out of looking in wonder-

Dancing, knowing, touching the gloriousness of being alive-

           I want to look at life and have moments where the joy of being alive can't be contained. Do you know that feeling? *Grins* It's kinda hard to put into words. That joy when I've seen God answer a prayer, and I can see so clearly how He worked it out. That joy when I've had a hard day, but God sends someone to encourage me. That joy when I feel an overwhelming sense of love from my Heavenly Father, and I'm reminded all over again how much He cares for me. 

           Or things like this - simple little things - like listening through music and suddenly realizing how perfectly this song fits with what I'm trying to say. "You are the song, You are the song I'm singing. You are the air, You are the air I'm breathin'. You are the hope, You are the hope I'm needing - You are." I want to have the type of wonder that I know God is the song of my heart, the life I need like the air, and that He is the hope driving me to live with abandon. (Aaand, there goes another song that fits this post. *Adds it to the end*)

You Are - Colton Dixon

The type of wonderment that makes me treasure moments,

Holding fast to the knowledge,

That life is beautiful in Christ.

          There's a quote by Doctor Seuss that says, "Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory."

          That's why when something makes you happy, treasure it. Don't hesitate to tell people you love what they mean to you. Don't assume things will stay the same - but don't let that make you afraid. Let that knowledge fill you with passion to care... If your moments are to become memories, make them worth remembering. If you are to become a memory to someone, may that memory point to Jesus and the wonderful difference He has made in your life.

         Each moment is precious. Some are hard, some are long, some seem more than we can bear... but I know that life is held by God. Life is beautiful because Christ is in it, and He holds us every step of the way. He is the reason I can live with joyous wonder. Remember that. Marvel in that truth.

Live With Abandon - Newsboys

Ah, may we never cease to find wonder in the world around us. To live with abandon. 

To shine the light of Christ.

To dream and care and play and hope...
To live life in awe of God's unchangeable grace.

I don't want to stop living with wonder

Because I let it be drained away

And life is now only routine.

I don't want to release these bits of life

In favor of being mature

And unknowingly become cynical.

I don't want to grow out of looking in wonder-

Dancing, knowing, touching the gloriousness of being alive-

The type of wonderment that makes me treasure moments,

Holding fast to the knowledge,

That life is beautiful in Christ.

Now my final question for you is: How will you continue to live with wonder?

~Ophelia - Marie

I Don't Want To Grow Up - Beyond Caring

       This is the second post in my 'I Don't Want To Grow Up' series. The first post is entitled, 'I Don't Want To Grow Up - Beyond Dreaming'. 

I don't want to be so "grown up" that I no longer care.

I don't want to stop caring

Because I've put everyone in categorized bubbles

And they don't matter anymore.

       There are the people who "deserve our care" and then the people who "made wrong choices, and got what they deserved" - There are the people who, "Need our compassion", and the people who, "Need to just figure it out for themselves"- sadly, we hear this attitude all the time. We tend to rush in to help those who stumbled, but glare harshly at those who have habitually been walking on the edge of wrong choices (despite being told what would happen) and finally crumble under the weight of what they've done. We scold, and shake our heads, and throw out our words of, "We told you this would happen!" instead of showing compassion. The weight of our judgmental glances tell them that their chances are better out on the road.  

        Where would we be if God hadn't loved us, despite how messed up we are? Where would we be if He had left us to figure things out alone? Where would we be if we had to meet His standards, before He extended grace? Where would we be if our past kept us from finding a new future in Him? So much has been given to us that we've never deserved. We need to extend that same grace to others. 

        That doesn't mean people shouldn't be held accountable for their actions, and that there aren't real consequences for life choices people make. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try to tell people what will happen when we see them walking into sin. It doesn't mean we should turn a blind eye to what harmful things people do to themselves and others in the name of being "sensitive". It means... praying for the broken, talking to them, showing them the love of God by our lives and actions, and seeking to genuinely care about them as individuals, even when they aren't very "lovable"...

     

I don't want to see someone crying

And hurry away

Because I don't have time.

         I don't want to get to the point in life where my agenda becomes more important than caring for others. It takes time to talk to hurting people. It takes time to get to know them, be there for them, and understand why they are hurting. It isn't easy. It isn't even always rewarding. It isn't without cost, or without occasional confusion and pain. It isn't without mistakes, or times that seem impossible. 

           I know I can't be there for everyone. I know that I can't heal the pain. I know that I am not always the friend I should be. I know I can not be someone's strength. I know I can not fix what people crush. I know I don't have all the solutions, or even a handful of them, a lot of times. I know I am not strong enough to fully bear another's heartaches. I know I haven't always been obedient to reaching out when I had the chance. I know there are times I have to step back from a friendship. I know there are days I can't handle trying to be there, and have to take a break. I know I can't do everything... But I do know many things I can do, with God's strength.

        I know I can listen. I know I can show I care. I know I can offer my friendship. I know I can extend forgiveness. I know I can speak truth. I know I can look at things from another point of view and offer ideas. I know I can pray down on my knees and beg for God's healing, peace, and strength for others. I know that I can make a difference in someone's life, if that's what God has for me to do. 

         When it comes down to it, will you take the time to show you care? Will you put aside what is "convenient" to reach out? A lot of times you don't even have to do much, it seems... Pray and be there for people - that's what is needed the most. But like I said, that doesn't mean it's easy... It's being the hands and feet of Jesus. It's showing love to those who often don't know what love really means -  the hope that is bound up in a relationship with Jesus.

I don't want to look at people

And only wonder what they'll give me,

How they'll help me forward,

And if they are worth my time.

         Life is full of people who will either have the means to repay our caring in some way, or who won't.

          There are people who affirm those who love them in their pain, and there are those who react harshly to offered help. There are people who accept love and gentle reproof, and then there are people who appear colder to kindnesses and ignore (or sharply reply to) anything that isn't uplifting and affirming... There are those who seem easier to love, and there are those that are much harder to love.

     I work as a nurse aide in a long term care facility. Not all of my residents are lovable. (Many of them are wonderfully sweet though, and I absolutely love my job.) Some are unkind and demanding and always seem to be complaining... But God calls me to be loving and patient with them too. I don't always have the right attitude, but God has been teaching me again the meaning of caring for those who can and will give you nothing in return.

        As I was thinking about that, these verses came to mind:

Luke 14:12-14

12 Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. 13 But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind,14 and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Matthew 5:46-47
 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 

I don't want to grow out of caring-

Deeply, truly caring-

The type of caring that makes me cry

Though I don't know their name,

Or fully understand their hurt.

           I don't want to stop being empathetic, even though it hurts. I want Him to break my heart 'til it moves my hands and feet. Mmm, I want to have a heart of compassion to those around me, and not become cynical to the brokenness. I want to love others with no half measures - loving them the best I know how, in God's strength.

          God has shown me such perfect love. He teaches me day by day to rest in Him, even when I struggle, and shows me that I am not alone. His grace is enough for me. How can I do any less than seek to love others in even a fraction of the way that He has loved me? He is the reason I can care.

I don't want to stop caring

Because I've put everyone in categorized bubbles

And they don't matter anymore.

I don't want to see someone crying

And hurry away

Because I don't have time.

I don't want to look at people

And only wonder what they'll give me,

How they'll help me forward,

And if they are worth my time.

I don't want to grow out of caring-

Deeply, truly caring-

The type of caring that makes me cry

Though I don't know their name,

Or fully understand their hurt.

Now my question for you is: How will you show you care?

~Ophelia - Marie

The Power Of Empathy

I Don't Want To Grow Up - Beyond Dreaming

      This is the first post of a blog series based on my poem  "I Don't Want To Grow Up". I don't want to become so "grown up", that I no longer dream, care, play, hope, or wonder anymore. 

I don't want to be so "grown up" that I no longer dream.

I don't want to stop dreaming

Because I care so much what others think

And I must follow them.

      I've been asked many times why I haven't decided to go to college (- Though I did go to community college for about a month to become certified as a nurse aid -) and get a degree in something. People give me funny looks when I say, "I wouldn't want to spend all that money unless I was sure I want to go into a profession, and what really want to do is be a homeschooling mom someday." Some people raise their eyebrows a bit when I tell them what a nurse's aid does, and how I feel I can best be a servant by caring for those who can't care for themselves. Some people wonder why the thought of raising children and homeschooling is so important to me. Not everyone understands, and that is okay.

        I am well aware not all of my dreams are easy, but there is a tug on my heart to do them. One step at a time I am going to seek to be an encouragement to others, and work to the best of my abilities to shine God's love. If that means being different than other nineteen year olds, so be it.  ;)

       I don't want to stop dreaming so I can run with everyone else. People can pick at my sometimes optimistic attitude, but I'm not afraid to stand out. Yes, dreams can change, God can open and close doors, and He doesn't always give us what we think we want, but I'm prayerfully trying to go forth in obedience. 

      Don't believe you can't do something, just because there are setbacks, or people who challenge your thought process. Do listen to reasonable objections, spend a lot of time in prayer and reading the Bible, and seek council from trustworthy people, but don't believe that, "Well almost everyone else does it this way," means that you have to do just the same. 

I don't want to push my dreams into a corner

And strive for level ground

Because that's what some are doing.

       "Just get by,"  - That seems to be the attitude so many people have. "Do what you have to, but no more or you're letting people use you." I wonder - how many opportunities we miss in life because we are too afraid or lazy to do things that are difficult, or don't seem to have easy reward? What if, when we felt God's calling, we answered with, "Here I am, send me!" (Isaiah 6:8) instead of telling God that wasn't what exactly we had in mind. God can send us blessings we didn't even think to dream about when we're willing to go where He wants us. 

     Don't be afraid to do what God impresses on your heart. You're never "too young" , "too old", "too inexperienced", to serve the Lord. You will have seasons of waiting, times of discouragement and questioning, and days that seem more than you can handle, but don't always look for the easy way out. Seek God in prayer and ask for His strength and peace to do the things He wants you to do, and for discernment as you go forward. If God places something on your heart, listen to His guidance. He may have you wait for a long time before He grants you the ability to follow it, but don't settle for less because you feel small. God is so much bigger than we can fathom.

      Dream dreams that will take work, time, and patience - and put your heart into them. We can all chase our small dreams - what about the dreams that take self sacrifice? 

I don't want to leave my goals

To die in the dust

Just because the world won't support them.

        I love to dream. I love crazy, hopeful, silly dreams that sometimes are only sorta based in reality. I love important, life changing, longing dreams that make me feel small, but remind me how much bigger God is. I love dreaming about the things I plan to do, and then  creating and meeting goals to reach them. I love "plotting", planning, and wishing. I love dreams that seem a little crazy, but that I want enough to jump for - like visiting  J. Grace Pennington  for a week in Texas all by myself, though we'd never met face to face before, or taking on the seemingly daunting process of self publishing. I love seeing the outcome of so many of the dreams I've dared to reach for, as precious reminders that God listens.

        People may not understand  - "Why would you fly all the way to Texas to stay with a family you've never really met?" ... "Why would you self publish when you're so young and inexperienced?" ... "Why do you keep hoping for things that may never happen?" - but trying is sometimes half the battle. Yes, dreams don't always work out and plans fall through, but we'll never know if we don't try... and I don't think we'll try often, if we don't first dream... 

I don't want to grow out of dreaming-

High, bright, full of wonder-

The type of dreaming that makes my heart soar,

Wrapped in the knowledge

God is guiding me.

        I think too many dreams die before we even start because we don't put our hope in the One who can do all things. God is with us - why shouldn't we dream? Why shouldn't we continually ask for His blessing as we seek to live for Him? Why do we mentally limit what we think God can do? 

May this be our prayer,

"All of my plans, all of my dreams

 I lay them down before Your feet

All of my time, all that was mine 

I now submit to Your design

'Cause You are the one and only one 

Who dared to give it all away for me."

        He is in control, and though I must give my dreams over to Him time and again, I know they are safest in His hands. I love talking to God in almost childish delight about the things I'm dreaming of and watching Him work. He sometimes tells me 'no', or 'wait', but plenty of times in my short life I've seen how much wiser He is than I am. Even when it's difficult to let go, I want to rest all my dreams in Him. He is the reason I can dream.

Strangely Dim, Francesca Battistelli

This is one of my rings that I wear pretty much all the time.

I don't want to stop dreaming

Because I care so much what others think

And I must follow them.

I don't want to push my dreams into a corner

And strive for level ground

Because that's what some are doing.

I don't want to leave my goals

To die in the dust

Just because the world won't support them.

I don't want to grow out of dreaming-

High, bright, full of wonder-

The type of dreaming that makes my heart soar,

Wrapped in the knowledge

God is guiding me.

Now my question for you is: How will you dream?

~Ophelia - Marie

Write Like The Sun - Shared Post

Photo From Flickr


My friend, J. Grace Pennington, wrote this great post on her blog. As writer, this idea was especially intruiging to me - I want to write like the sun too...

     Men say, practically, Begin where you are and such as you are, without aiming mainly to become of more worth, and with kindness aforethought go about doing good. If I were to preach at all in this strain, I should say rather, Set about being good.

~ Henry David Thoreau, Economy

         Mr. Thoreau and I would disagree on a great many things, but when I read this quote in his essay on Economy, I was struck by it, and by the illustration that follows. He uses the example of the sun, which he says does not rush around peeping in windows to light up each house and trying to do good, but rather makes its way through the sky, and just by virtue of being the sun and rising and setting, does good without really meaning to.

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Without Complaining

           
             We've been having some really great discussions in Sunday School as we've been going through the book, Philippians: Christ, the Source of Joy and Strength by John MacArthur. Yesterday, the focus was on Philippians 2:14-16:

Philippians 2:14-16

English Standard Version (ESV)

14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16 holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

             "Modern Western society is the most prosperous culture in the history of mankind, and also arguably the most discontented society ever. As the economy has become increasingly richer, people appear more discontent and complain more with each passing generation. Fueling that enchantment is the conviction that personal happiness, though elusive and unattained, is the supreme objective of life. 

            The church is not immune to this. Believers' failure to willingly, even joyfully, submit to God's providential will is a deep-seated and serious sin. Discontentment and complaining are attitudes that can become so habitual they are hardly noticed. But those twin sins demonstrate a lack of trust in His providential will, boundless grace, and infinite wisdom and love. Consequently, those sins are especially odious in His sight and merit His discipline. To deal with the complainers in the Philippian congregation, Paul first commanded them to stop complaining, then gave them reasons for obeying that command."
 ~ Philippians: Christ, the Source of Joy and Strength by John MacArthur

       My happiness isn't to be the end objective. Being a servant of Christ to bring Him glory should be my goal. Obedient. Loving. Set apart. We are called to "shine as lights in the world". We are called to "hold fast to the word of life". What if... What if we tried to make a contentious decision to not only try to avoid saying things that are negative, but also mentally and verbally tried to focus on the positive? Ha, we should be doing this anyway, but it's easy to slip into being more negative than positive.

       Mirriam Neal recently wrote a blog post entitled: Say 'No' To Negativity. (Ha, I just remembered I wanted to read her post, and by the title *grins* I was right that it'd fit with what I'm rambling about..) .. In it, she shares a good goal - try not to say anything negative for three days. My first thought was, "Wow I don't know if I can......" but it's something I should try. I'm going to try to stop saying anything negative for three days. I'm not sure how it'll go, but I'm going to try.

       I'll admit, I'm not always good at focusing on the positive. There are days when it seems one thing after another goes wrong and I'm mentally going over all the things that should have been done differently. Last week I had one of those days, and I could feel myself getting flustered. Thank God, He helped me realize the attitude I was having, and with prayer and a redirection of my focus, the rest of the day went much better.

       *Half grin* Yeah, I've thought about the need to be positive before, but I've never really thought about trying to say nothing negative for any length of time... And there I go again, thinking of all the ways this is going to be hard. Hmm, but we'll never get anywhere in life if we don't at first try, no matter what misgivings we have. And what's the worse that can happen? I won't be as positive as I might prefer, and I'll need to pray and try again... Try again to smile, focus on God's blessings, and pray for His guidance moment by moment.

        Ha, this is going to be an interesting challenge... Would you like to join me? :) ;)


        **Update** So, trying not to say anything negative for three days was hard, and I didn't fully succeed. Still, I found that keeping this in mind made me more aware of any negative thoughts, and I caught myself several times from saying things I might've otherwise said. All in all, this has been a good reminder to be more aware of the things I say.

~Ophelia - Marie

The Impact of Encouragement

     Have you considered the impact your encouraging words can make on others? Throughout my life, encouragement from others has changed the way I look at situations, picked me up when I felt low, helped me try new things, and pushed me to reach for my dreams.


     When I was pretty young, about eight or nine, our music leader in Sunday school told me I had a pretty singing voice. She also told me that when I got older, I should join our choir. I'll never forget that because she is the first person I remember telling me I could sing well.

    Your encouraging words can open others' eyes to something they've never considered before. You may be the first person to ever tell them they can do that particular thing, and the simple words, "You do that well," are often enough to give them the desire to try.


     When I was about fourteen, I emailed one of my uncles part of the fantasy book I was writing - he was one of the first people I got the courage to show it to. Looking back now I know how horrible it was, yet he was very encouraging. He pointed out things he said he liked, gave suggestions, and asked a lot of questions about consistency. He could've crushed me had he been too harsh, or he could've disillusioned me had he simply told me it was great. Instead, he took the time to explain what didn't exactly work and give me ideas, while at the same time praising my efforts.

    Never underestimate the time you invest in giving encouragement and honest critique/opinion. You should be careful to balance your words of praise and words of critique, but always be honest. Tell them what you think, while at the same time being an encouragement. You can help them improve and show them things they might not have seen that way before.

    When I was sixteen Grace Pennington said, “You're becoming quite the poet! You must put them into a book or something. I'd buy it.” I had been thinking about self publishing "someday", but her words spurred me into action. Why did her words mean so much? Because she had showed me multiple times before that she cared about me, and that she wanted me to succeed. She believed in me, and that knowledge gave me the push to chase my dream.

     As a friend, you can be a powerful encouragement. Learn about what excites them, guard what they tell you, be honest, watch what you say, remember they are different from you, be someone trustworthy - be the kind of friend to them that you'd want. Encourage them to do what they long to, and let them know the good you see. At any age the knowledge that someone you trust believes in you is a powerful thing - I know.

Though I don't have a specific story I'd like to share for this point, I consider it important to mention anyway. People have made a big difference in my life and helped me by doing this simple thing: Listening. Stop talking, or typing, or saying everything you think others need to hear. Just shush for a moment. Let them know they have your attention. You can say all the "right" words and it won't mean anything if you've blown off what they've been trying to say to you. We all want to know that when we speak, others are listening - really listening. Sometimes all we need to do to be an encouragement is to show that we care enough to be quiet and listen to what others have to say.

     I want to point out the good I see in others and encourage them to share what they love. I want to listen and care, even when I'm not sure what to say. I want to be someone who takes the time to make a difference in the lives of those around me. I want to pass on the blessing that I was given.

Will you seek to do the same for those in your life? When sharing the love of God - every minute is worth it. 

~Ophelia - Marie

A good post on encouragement:
 Kindred Grace: Give Courage

(I love this song. )

Words - Hawk Nelson