I Don't Want To Grow Up - Beyond Dreaming

      This is the first post of a blog series based on my poem  "I Don't Want To Grow Up". I don't want to become so "grown up", that I no longer dream, care, play, hope, or wonder anymore. 

I don't want to be so "grown up" that I no longer dream.

I don't want to stop dreaming

Because I care so much what others think

And I must follow them.

      I've been asked many times why I haven't decided to go to college (- Though I did go to community college for about a month to become certified as a nurse aid -) and get a degree in something. People give me funny looks when I say, "I wouldn't want to spend all that money unless I was sure I want to go into a profession, and what really want to do is be a homeschooling mom someday." Some people raise their eyebrows a bit when I tell them what a nurse's aid does, and how I feel I can best be a servant by caring for those who can't care for themselves. Some people wonder why the thought of raising children and homeschooling is so important to me. Not everyone understands, and that is okay.

        I am well aware not all of my dreams are easy, but there is a tug on my heart to do them. One step at a time I am going to seek to be an encouragement to others, and work to the best of my abilities to shine God's love. If that means being different than other nineteen year olds, so be it.  ;)

       I don't want to stop dreaming so I can run with everyone else. People can pick at my sometimes optimistic attitude, but I'm not afraid to stand out. Yes, dreams can change, God can open and close doors, and He doesn't always give us what we think we want, but I'm prayerfully trying to go forth in obedience. 

      Don't believe you can't do something, just because there are setbacks, or people who challenge your thought process. Do listen to reasonable objections, spend a lot of time in prayer and reading the Bible, and seek council from trustworthy people, but don't believe that, "Well almost everyone else does it this way," means that you have to do just the same. 

I don't want to push my dreams into a corner

And strive for level ground

Because that's what some are doing.

       "Just get by,"  - That seems to be the attitude so many people have. "Do what you have to, but no more or you're letting people use you." I wonder - how many opportunities we miss in life because we are too afraid or lazy to do things that are difficult, or don't seem to have easy reward? What if, when we felt God's calling, we answered with, "Here I am, send me!" (Isaiah 6:8) instead of telling God that wasn't what exactly we had in mind. God can send us blessings we didn't even think to dream about when we're willing to go where He wants us. 

     Don't be afraid to do what God impresses on your heart. You're never "too young" , "too old", "too inexperienced", to serve the Lord. You will have seasons of waiting, times of discouragement and questioning, and days that seem more than you can handle, but don't always look for the easy way out. Seek God in prayer and ask for His strength and peace to do the things He wants you to do, and for discernment as you go forward. If God places something on your heart, listen to His guidance. He may have you wait for a long time before He grants you the ability to follow it, but don't settle for less because you feel small. God is so much bigger than we can fathom.

      Dream dreams that will take work, time, and patience - and put your heart into them. We can all chase our small dreams - what about the dreams that take self sacrifice? 

I don't want to leave my goals

To die in the dust

Just because the world won't support them.

        I love to dream. I love crazy, hopeful, silly dreams that sometimes are only sorta based in reality. I love important, life changing, longing dreams that make me feel small, but remind me how much bigger God is. I love dreaming about the things I plan to do, and then  creating and meeting goals to reach them. I love "plotting", planning, and wishing. I love dreams that seem a little crazy, but that I want enough to jump for - like visiting  J. Grace Pennington  for a week in Texas all by myself, though we'd never met face to face before, or taking on the seemingly daunting process of self publishing. I love seeing the outcome of so many of the dreams I've dared to reach for, as precious reminders that God listens.

        People may not understand  - "Why would you fly all the way to Texas to stay with a family you've never really met?" ... "Why would you self publish when you're so young and inexperienced?" ... "Why do you keep hoping for things that may never happen?" - but trying is sometimes half the battle. Yes, dreams don't always work out and plans fall through, but we'll never know if we don't try... and I don't think we'll try often, if we don't first dream... 

I don't want to grow out of dreaming-

High, bright, full of wonder-

The type of dreaming that makes my heart soar,

Wrapped in the knowledge

God is guiding me.

        I think too many dreams die before we even start because we don't put our hope in the One who can do all things. God is with us - why shouldn't we dream? Why shouldn't we continually ask for His blessing as we seek to live for Him? Why do we mentally limit what we think God can do? 

May this be our prayer,

"All of my plans, all of my dreams

 I lay them down before Your feet

All of my time, all that was mine 

I now submit to Your design

'Cause You are the one and only one 

Who dared to give it all away for me."

        He is in control, and though I must give my dreams over to Him time and again, I know they are safest in His hands. I love talking to God in almost childish delight about the things I'm dreaming of and watching Him work. He sometimes tells me 'no', or 'wait', but plenty of times in my short life I've seen how much wiser He is than I am. Even when it's difficult to let go, I want to rest all my dreams in Him. He is the reason I can dream.

Strangely Dim, Francesca Battistelli

This is one of my rings that I wear pretty much all the time.

I don't want to stop dreaming

Because I care so much what others think

And I must follow them.

I don't want to push my dreams into a corner

And strive for level ground

Because that's what some are doing.

I don't want to leave my goals

To die in the dust

Just because the world won't support them.

I don't want to grow out of dreaming-

High, bright, full of wonder-

The type of dreaming that makes my heart soar,

Wrapped in the knowledge

God is guiding me.

Now my question for you is: How will you dream?

~Ophelia - Marie

Don't Belittle Your Gifts

  

    I wrote briefly on this topic in my post 'You are Fearfully And Wonderfully Made' but I want to try and better expound on it. Why? Because this seems to be something I talk about with people a lot.

    Let's start out with some questions:

    What is something you enjoy doing? You know, when you do something and you feel a sense of accomplishment when you finished? What do you love to do, and would do even if no one else thought it was worthwhile?

    Now, what do you feel you have a talent for? What do you consider yourself good at? Some of you are probably scrambling about looking for something to put in this category. Take a moment and look back at the first question. Is something you're good at, the same as something you enjoy?

 

"Oh, I enjoy it, but I'm not very good at it."

   I've heard these words too many times from people's mouths, including my own. Why do you suppose we do this?  Why do we say we enjoy something, but often not let ourselves consider we may also be good at it? Why do we often hide our gifts, or belittle them? If you love something, it's hard to step out and face possible rejection by sharing it... at times it can seem better to belittle our gifts so if someone should dismiss them, maybe it won't hurt so bad if we act like we don't care... We think maybe we should skip even the possibility of rejection and never show others the things we dream about...

But fear shouldn't keep us from shining a light with the gifts God gives us.

   Now, you may truly not be good at something, even if you enjoy it, but here's a pretty good way to find out: Has anyone told you that you were good at something? If you've been told once by someone you trust - depending who it is, you can go by that. If you've been told several times by different people - you'd better start paying attention to their words. :)

     Let me tell you something honestly. My singing... my fantasy writing... those are things I tear down about myself more than I'd care to admit. Sometimes when I'm really frustrated, others hear about it too. I've been blessed with some great friends who don't let me badmouth myself too much... but, like most people on the planet, I have days that I wonder about my abilities.

       I can sing fine, I know that, but there are many others who sing so much better... why should I do things like sing solos in church, or write songs? I don't play any instruments. I couldn't tell you if someone is singing flat or how to change keys. I don't even know how to read sheet music yet...

      I can write fantasy and I love my story, but there are so many who write better... Why should I continue to write this one more story with an orphan girl who finds dragon eggs? Why should I let anyone see my blundering through as I discover seemingly simple things?  I don't have oodles of ideas and worlds and wonders waiting to be written. Besides very random short stories I don't write any other story besides the one I've worked on forever...

     These are things I enjoy doing, but I can easily slip into downplaying them - not in humility, but in outright tearing down of the gifts God has given me to enjoy. I look at these things some days and go, "Why?" Why try? Why not let someone else do these things since they can do it better? Why me?

    Ah. But this is the wrong mindset. It's not about me. God gave me gifts in these areas and He wants me to bring Him glory through them. These gifts don't look exactly like everyone else's. There are people who are better than me, but I can keep improving. My focus needs not to be on me - what everyone thinks of my writing, of my singing, of the things I do. My focus needs to be on God - what He wants, what joy He gets from my service, what ways I can bring Him glory.

   There are, in all likelyhood, always going to be people better than you at something, but don't let that be your focus. Keep your eyes on God. When we serve God with all we've got, He is honored. Serve those around you - both those in the church, and outside of the church. It doesn't have to be something huge and seen by all to be a blessing to others. Give of your time and help in whatever situation God has seen fit to put you in. Love to do what you do because God gave you the ability to shine His glory in that way.

  

Colossians 3:23-24

²³ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,    ²⁴ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Romans 12:3-8

 

³ For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. ⁴ For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; ⁷ if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; ⁸ if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,  do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

 

 

1 Peter 4:10 - 11

 

¹⁰ Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. ¹¹ If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

~Ophelia - Marie