Wednesday, February 15, 2017
I Realize We're an Oddity to Some
"So when are you moving in with him?"
I've lost track now of how many times I've been asked this since I got engaged at the end of December.
Jimmy and I have been dating long distance for the entirety of our relationship - he lives in PA, and I live in Michigan, and funny enough, we met via ChristianMingle. (But that's another story. ;) ) We Skype several times a week for hours on end, and he visits me once a month for a weekend. We've had two week-long visits together - once in the summer, and once in December. We miss each other, but we make it work. ^_^
All that to say - we're as "used to" having a long distance relationship as one can get.
And still that question, "So when are are moving in with him?"
My response is: "After we get married in July."
Well meaning follow up questions/statements from people include: "Don't you want to move in with him now?" - "It's nice to move in before getting married because it takes some getting used to." - "I lived with my fiance/boyfriend _____ before we got married."
It's funny to me how backwards all this is, as well meaning as all these people are. Yes - I realize marriage won't be all easy-happy-fluff - I realize it takes work - but I don't need to start "getting used to" married life before I'm married. And yes - I want to live with him - that's why we're getting married... But I don't need a test few months of living together before the wedding to make sure I want to get married to this man.
God has things ordered in certain ways on purpose - I believe His ways are best for us. We're doing what God calls "good" - and it seems odd to a lot of people...
Besides that - sometimes, the way we interact in public makes people comment.
One time when we were out, Jimmy opened my car door for me to get in, like he always does. He shut the door, and a lady shouted over to him, catching him off guard. She wanted to know if his car door was stuck, because he had me get in first. He told her no, and she swore at him in an "approval" type of way, and told him that that was how to treat a lady.
Last time we were on a date, when the waitress brought the receipt for the dinner, he was gone in the restroom. The waitress had put the receipt upside down, instead of offering it to me. When I picked it up, she said in kind of an apologetic tone, "He didn't seem the type who'd want you to see the check. He seems like quite a gentleman." I laughed. "Oh yes - he won't let me pay for things. But I have a gift card, so we're going to use that."
And then there's the times where I've been asked by people I know, "Is he religious too?" As if... it were a side thing, instead of the central part of a healthy relationship... Of course he's "religious" - if by that, you mean a growing Christian. Knowing Jesus is the center-point of who I am - I'm not going to marry someone who doesn't share that with me.
The reality is - we're a bit of an oddity in the world's eyes, and people notice. It's a good kind of oddity - I pray we can be good examples of how to love, and follow God's timing, and be patient, and grow in Christ.
The kind of example that speaks well of each other. The kind where he treats me kindly, and I respect him. The kind where we pray together, and attend church together. The kind where we manage our finances, and discuss our goals, and work together. The kind of people who live lives of strength in Christ.
That's the kind of example I pray we are, and will continue to be. :) God never promised life would be easy - He tells us there will be hardships - but I trust God knows the way. I'm excited to run through life with a man who will chase after Jesus with me.
To God be the Glory,