Striving To Write Honestly

 

September 30, 2012

    "Honestly, writing can be scary. It's frightening that someone can know glimpses of my heartstrings- to casually touch the fears that I don't often speak aloud.

    So I drop what I have and let it go, the wonder of knowing, and not letting it show. " -Excerpt from my free-writing doc.

 

    Once upon a time I didn't share my poetry. I could capture my thoughts and feelings through writing but the idea of sharing it... Uh, no. Sharing part of me was scary. . . Did anyone really need to see that me? The me who was wondering about the future, fighting the jealousy of sharing friends, struggling with pride, and losing my temper? The me that questioned what God was doing, that broke for friends' pain, that felt lonely and afraid? What if people read them and... rejected what I had to say?

 

    It took me awhile to be willing to share my writing, and even longer for me to start signing my name to what I shared. Thankfully God placed people in my life who were able to encourage me. Slowly I  began to lose the fear of letting others read my poems, even the ones that clearly showed the real me.

 

    God has taught me that He can use what I write, no matter how small it is. My poetry may at times not have the correct meter and my free verse may be strangely broken up (Kind people use the word “unique” and at times “unusual” ;) ) and the whole thing can be over-all rough, but God can use it to bless others. If I pour out my heart and don't worry about who is going to see it, or how it will be taken, I can write honestly.

 

    Poetry is something I write from my heart... I draw upon what I know from God's Word, as well as my experiences, conversations with others, and lessons learned. Often times that results in highly personal poems that clearly lay out how I'm feeling... or, at least what I'm thinking about. That can be scary – scary because if you read it you can see me.... Yet, there are very few poems I won't share publicly. I can list less than ten that I've shown only to a select few, and out of the over 300 I've written, there are none (besides random bits in my free writing doc I ended up not turning into full poems) that I have kept totally to myself.

 

    Why? Why do I share my poetry with people, often in its roughest forms?

 

 Because they mean something to me... and I hope that they mean something to others. It's always surprising to me when the poems that have the most of /me/ in them, are the ones others relate to the best. In other ways, it's not surprising at all. I'm not the only one who has felt far from God. I'm not the only one who sometimes feels alone and out of place. I'm not the only one who has struggled in friendships. I'm not the only one who worries. I'm not the only one who at times lies awake at night thinking about the past and future. I'm not the only one who wonders about pain, death, legacies, our Christian walk, or what love means... and because I'm not the only one, sometimes the things I say strike the hearts of others.

 

 I want to write honestly to share the lessons I've learned.

 I want to write honestly to be an encouragement.

 I want to write honestly to remind others they are not alone.
And for that, and other reasons, I strive to write with honesty.


To God be the glory.

 

 

~Ophelia - Marie